Truth
by Mrs Bella Riddle
Summary: When Narcissa receives some truly horrifying news from a healer, she cannot tell Lucius the truth. She can only mourn and attempt to hide her grief.


For the One Hour Challenge with the title 'truth' and the word 'fate'.

* * *

If Narcissa was at all religious or truly fanciful, she might have believed that there was some other being directing the players of the world and pulling people's strings. It seemed like somehow everything had eventuated this way, but she was unsure how and it felt like something other than a mere mortal was to blame.

She might have concluded it was the work of fate, if the word was not suggesting connotations that were too positive for this situation.

She had never thought it was so difficult to stay composed. It had never been so hard to not shake, to not whimper or to not allow the tears to run down her face.

She had never felt like such a failure.

Crossing the threshold of the Malfoy Manor Entrance Hall, she concentrated on moving one foot in front of the other.

'_One,' _she thought as the click of her heel echoed against the marble hall.

'_Two,' _she murmured in her mind as she stared straight ahead and tried not to think about how there was no one to great her upon her return.

'_Three.' _The place was so quiet. Lucius was not home and there were only the house elves.

'_Four.' _More noise might make the place come alive. Perhaps if she heard a child's laughter it would be alright.

'_Five.' _Malfoy Manor would never contain a child.

The healer had made that clear.

Like the cruel man who controlled the fate of the world had cut her strings, she crumpled into a heap as soon as her steps led her into the sitting room. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself in an effort to try and hold in all her turbulent emotions.

It failed.

The first tears of the day started leaking then gushing from her eyes as she stared straight down at the cream carpet.

This would have been a lovely room. It would have been perfect to sit by the window and hold her baby in her arms. She could whisper in his ear and fill his head with wonderful stories. She could sit and listen so, that when Lucius came home, she could hear him and she and her child could rush to greet him.

It would never happen.

Fate was cruel.

It had only meant to be a routine check up. After a year of marriage, she and Lucius' attempts to conceive had all failed. She had been disgruntled, but she had assumed the Healer would only prescribe some potions to help the process or perhaps present her with some advice.

She had not.

The healer had tried to be kind as she had presented her findings, though it had still felt like a knife had gone through her heart.

She could not have a child.

Technically the healer had said it was very unlikely she could conceive.

It was enough for Narcissa.

She knew what it meant. She was not naive or foolish.

The healer was just being kind. She would never have a child. Lucius would never have his Heir.

She had failed.

It must have been fate. It had to be. It was like the Blacks were meant to die out. Only fate could curse her parents with three sisters. Only fate could mean one sister would run off with a mudblood, another would scorn any notions of motherhood and a third would be physically unable to have a child.

A strangled sob escaped her. She did not attempt to stand. Instead she crawled forward, probably tearing and ruining her robes, as she moved towards the chair in the corner. With great difficulty she pulled herself into the cushioned surface. Tightening her arms around herself, she whimpered loudly.

She could hold herself in this chair but she would never hold anyone else.

* * *

An hour later Lucius found her in that position. Her face was blotchy, her makeup was smudged and her still heeled feet were resting on the chair as she still held her legs tightly.

She only lifted her head a little at his approach, her throat suddenly tight, but she did not say anything.

What could she say?

The truth was too painful.

It did not matter. Lucius still saw that something was wrong.

"Cissy!" he exclaimed too loudly and with more emotion than he would reveal to anyone else. He rushed to her side and kneeled before her chair as he looked up at her with grey eyes that were filled with concern. "Are you alright?"

"I- yes," she chocked trying to avoid looking down at him, but her eyes were drawn like a magnet to him and she could not look away. "Everything is fine."

He was not convinced.

Reaching for her, he wrapped a hand around one of hers and squeezed it gently.

"You look like you have been crying."

Her throat stung with the attempt to not shed more tears as her heart beat increased.

The truth was hard to hide.

"It was just a sad book," she murmured surprising herself with the lie. She was grateful that there was a book by her chair. She was even more grateful that Lucius did not even twitch his eyes from her to look down at the novel. "It is fine."

"Are you sure?" he asked again, his eyes suddenly turning steely. "Are you sure no one has hurt you? If they have I will..."

He trailed off. She was relieved. She did not want to hear about the gory details even if she was flattered that he wanted to protect her.

"It is fine," she repeated her lie again. "There is nothing wrong."

He smiled sadly as he stood up. However, it was only to lean over and to gently kiss her. She almost sobbed in relief at the contact and the reprieve from questioning. Slipping her hand from around her knees to his back, she held him close.

She did not want to think about the lie. She did not want to think about how she was a failure as a wife, mother and as a woman. She thought she would never ever forget those failures, but, at least with Lucius, she could be distracted for a little while.

As they broke away, she was even able to smile slightly as she stared into his eyes.

"I love you so much," she murmured as she moved in to kiss him again.

That was at least the truth.

* * *

A/N: Also I imagine this is canon compliant. The idea was that it was very unlikely she could conceive and thus Draco was a rare and wonderful surprise.


End file.
